To Catch Forbidden Tears
by Obsidian Sphinx
Summary: A tragic incident in the Makai causes Hiei to lose his will to live. Kurama takes it upon himself to help Hiei and discovers that his feelings of friendship may be evolving into something more. YAOI.
1. Prologue

To Catch Forbidden Tears  
By: Obsidian Sphinx & Lonely Wanderer  
Prologue  
  
Disclaimer: Me: You are all my slaves for eternity! Mwahahahahahaha!  
Lonely Wanderer: (clears throat) . . . What are you doing?  
Me: (looks back) (sweat drops) Um . . . I was just uh . . .   
Lonely Wanderer: I'm waiting.  
Me: (lowers head) (mumbles) Sorry.  
Lonely Wanderer: Um-hm. (Smacks me upside head) (turns to still bowing people)  
You can all get up and go home. Sorry about my friend, she hasn't taken her   
medication today.  
Me: (rubbing head) Hey! I don't take medication!  
Lonely Wanderer: Well we're going to get you some. And in the meantime, allow  
me to say what she was SUPPOSED to be saying. (Clears throat) Obsidian Sphinx and I do not  
own the show Yu Yu Hakusho, never have, and never will. Thank you for your time, and enjoy  
the fic.  
Me and Lonely Wanderer: (Walk off bickering)  
  
Author's Note: Hey all! Well, this is a joint fic by me, Obsidian Sphinx, and my buddy, Lonely  
Wanderer. Yay! Team work! Eheh . . . ^_^, Um . . .there really isn't to much to say about it other  
than the fact that it is a Yaoi fic (Kurama and Hiei relationship . . .plus lots o' tasty angst!). We  
do hope that you enjoy reading it 'cause we had way too much fun writing it. Oh yeah, one more  
thing. We. . . uh, don't exactly discourage reviews, so ya know, if you read this and thought you'd  
like to send us one, well, we probably wouldn't stop you. Hint hint, wink wink. Okay, you can  
move on to the actual story apart of this thing.   
Me: Happy Readings!  
Lonely Wanderer: Happy Trails!  
Me: What!?  
Lonely Wanderer: Nar!!  
Me: (Rolls eyes)  
Lonely Wanderer and Obsidian Sphinx: (Exit bickering)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She is so pure, and I would hate to taint her. All I may do is watch her from afar. She can't see  
me and that is how it should be. She should not have to see me for what I really am, and I do not  
deserve to be a part of her life. That is how it must be. I am, after all, a plague to all those  
around me. My hands are tainted with the blood and tears of others, many who probably did not  
deserve the death that I bestowed upon them. Murder is an inexcusable act, punishable, in my  
eyes, only by death, and yet, here I sit. I have no right to be here, I have no right to watch her, or  
even to protect her. I am the forbidden one, truly untouchable and unattainable . . . and isn't  
everyone safer if I stay that way? I do not wish to harm those that are dear to me, and that  
includes you, my dear sister. I regret that you have spent so much of your life searching  
desperately for a brother that you shall never have. Forgive me, Yukina, but you will be much  
happier without me in your life. You are among friends now, you do not need me to protect you  
any longer. Just be happy sister, that is all I ask . . . just, please, be happy.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
To be continued. . . 


	2. Chapter 2

We do not own Yu Yu Hakusho  
----------  
Key:   
*** - Shifting Perspective  
~*~ - Dream Scape, New Location  
----------  
To Catch Forbidden Tears  
By: Obsidian Sphinx & Lonely Wanderer  
Chapter 1  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yusuke! Get down!"  
  
Suddenly, Yusuke Urameshi found himself face to face with the ground as a sound, not too  
unlike thunder, sounded overhead. He felt the heat from a well-aimed attack on his head and  
legs, but strangely, not on his back. Roughly two seconds later, it was quiet, and yet, the silence  
seemed almost misplaced.  
  
Yusuke groaned as he felt a certain weight disappear from atop him. He pulled himself up to a  
sitting position and spared a few moments to catch his breath. The impact to the ground had  
jarred his ribs and ultimately knocked the wind out of him. To Yusuke, that was perhaps the  
most uncomfortable feeling that there was.   
  
Something came to his attention then. The ground and his hitting it had to have been caused by  
something. His mind replayed the earlier scene and the voice that had served warning to his fall.  
  
"Hiei!"   
  
Yusuke jumped to his feet in alarm. His chocolate eyes searched around him. The attack had  
successfully burnt and singed the ground, uprooting several spots of lush vegetation which lay  
strewn about dejectedly.   
  
"Hiei!" he called again.  
  
He heard a slight shuffling behind him, and he turned only to find the petite fire demon facing  
him stiffly, his arms crossed at his chest.  
  
Yusuke grinned warmly as he was often known to do. "Um, thanks for saving my ass there a  
second ago," he said.  
  
Hiei responded with a fabled, 'hn', but Yusuke had learned quickly Hiei's unofficial language,  
and he knew well enough that particular 'hn' translated to, 'you're welcome'.   
  
Yusuke frowned suddenly and slightly tilted his head to the side. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.  
He'd hate to find out that Hiei had been injured because of an attack that was intended for him  
and that he really should have been able to dodge without Hiei's assistance.   
  
The shirtless demon rolled his eyes. "Of coarse I'm all right," he replied, seemingly offended.   
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes, now go. There are more important matters to attend to right now."  
  
Yusuke shrugged. "Okay, but uh . . . you're sure you're fine?"  
  
Hiei stared at him with those dark crimson eyes and there was a certain flatness to them that  
Yusuke dared not ignore. "Right, well, I best be on my way then. Wouldn't want that guy to get  
away with the Reikai treasure . . . thingy. I'll meet back up with you guys later, okay? Bye."   
With those fleeting words Yusuke sprinted away.   
  
Hiei smirked. It would not take the boy long to catch up to the demon perpetrator. Once Yusuke  
was out of sight, he fell to his knees and took labored breaths. He had lied to Yusuke. He was  
far from all right. When he had shoved Yusuke to the ground, the energy attack had raked along  
his back. Now, Hiei could feel the blood running down what little skin he imagined he had left  
and mind numbing pain coursed through him, for the nerves had been destroyed, and if not that  
then badly traumatized.  
  
He closed his eyes, willing his body to accept and operate despite the pain. His cloak was not far  
from him. He had thrown it off near the beginning of the battle to allow more efficient  
movement. There was a battle going on behind him. The youkai, although considerably weak,  
were many in number. He needed to help Kurama and that orange haired fool. Hiei recovered  
his black cloak, wincing only slightly when he put it on and the fabric touched his injury.   
  
Out of habit, Hiei checked that his beloved katana was at his side, and it was. Satisfied, he flitted  
toward the battlefield. The moment his feet touched the bloody ground, a youkai attacked him.   
He sensed it, drew his sword, and disposed of the creature in a fraction of a second. After the  
initial attack, several youkai bombarded him.   
  
Meanwhile, Kurama took out another dozen or so with his acclaimed Rose Whip. The other  
demon's attacks were amateurish in nature and very brash. Really, they were just a distraction  
used to allow the main perpetrator to escape virtually unscathed with one of the frequently sought  
after Reikai treasures. The problem was that there were so many of these low class demons that  
he was getting tired and low on energy, both spiritual and physical. He could already feel  
Kuwabara's Rei-ki growing dim, but the good thing was that he could count on the boy to keep  
fighting no matter what shape he was in.   
  
Something else bothered him though. He had spotted a familiar black streak just moments ago,  
and anyone who knew him could easily tell that black streak was actually Hiei. Normally, he  
would feel more assured and confident when the fire demon was fighting with him, but he  
couldn't help but notice that Hiei's reaction time was far slower than normal. He could see the  
petite youkai's chest heaving as if out of breath, but that wasn't right. Kurama could count the  
number of times that Hiei was breathless, and most of those times included the Kokuryuha. He  
shook his head. He needed to keep his mind on the battle.   
  
Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara continued to slaughter the attacking youkai, and although to them  
the battle seemed interminable, it actually only took up a portion of fifteen minutes. When the  
last demon fell, Kurama could hear Kuwabara letting out a sigh of relief. He couldn't help but let  
one out as well. Situations like the one they had just been engaged in proved that there really  
was a strength in numbers.   
  
"Kurama, hey, are you okay?"  
  
The youko, turned human, looked up at Kuwabara. The boy came running toward him, a slightly  
worried expression on his face. Kurama smiled easily at him.  
  
"I'm fine Kuwabara. What about you?" he asked.  
  
Kuwabara let out a sound that was a hybrid between a sigh and a growl. "Aw, I'm okay, just a  
little  
beat up and tired, nothin' that a little nap can't cure. Hey, where's Urameshi?"   
  
Kurama shrugged. He'd lost sight of Yusuke near the beginning of the fight. However, he  
imagined that the boy had gone after the criminal who had stolen the treasure. Turning a little to  
find Hiei, Kurama winced slightly as he felt an urgent stinging sensation in his side. He looked  
down only find a bloody gash courtesy of a pair of particularly sharp claws. He sighed, and then  
couldn't help but smirk. The red color of blood clashed with the pink color of his school  
uniform, and getting bloodstains out of his clothing was more frustrating to him than fighting the  
battle that had caused the problem in the first place. Not to mention that he would have to sew  
up the rip in the fabric and then come up with a believable lie to tell his Mother about how it got  
there.   
  
"Just once in my human existence I'd like to be bloody and not have to tell anyone why," he  
mumbled.   
  
Kuwabara regarded him with a raised eyebrow. "Eh? You say something Kurama?" he asked.  
  
The fox shook his head. "No, nothing."  
  
"Okay. So anyway, I saw Urameshi and the shrimp earlier. You think Hiei knows where he is?"  
  
Kurama shrugged. "Perhaps. Let's ask."  
  
The pair made their way over to the black clad figure. Hiei at first had his back to them, but all  
too quickly turned to face them, stoic expression present as per the usual. He slid his sword back  
into its protective sheath and kicked at one of the slain demons on the ground.   
  
"Are you all right Hiei?" Kurama asked.  
  
The fire youkai snorted in reply.  
  
But as Hiei stared at him with those crimson eyes, Kurama briefly, ever so, thought he saw  
something, perhaps and emotion, flicker within them. Then he thought that maybe it was his  
imagination, for in the time it took him to blink, Hiei's eyes were back to their stony ways.   
  
"You don't have to be such a jerk about it. Kurama was just concerned. It wouldn't kill you to be  
nice once in a while," Kuwabara cut in, getting right up into Hiei's face.  
  
"It wouldn't kill me to disembowel you either, but I'm nice enough not too."  
  
Kuwabara's face turned a lovely shade of red as his muscles tensed. "You little . . . you're just  
damn lucky that I don't know what that word, disembol, er whatever you said, means!"  
  
Hiei smirked. "So tell me Kuwabara, do you enjoy proving your incompetence, or . . . oh wait  
I'm sorry, do you not know that word means either?"  
  
At this comment it was fairly obvious that Kuwabara had heard all that he could stand and was  
perfectly ready to take a swing at Hiei. Kurama decided that his intervention was past due, and  
he stepped between them.  
  
"Now children, let's all play nice," he said with a touch of amusement laced in his voice.  
  
Kuwabara let out a growl, but he stood down, and Hiei merely crossed his arms over his chest.   
Kurama thought he saw him wince slightly, but once again, it was probably his imagination. He  
cleared his throat to continue.   
  
"Hiei, have you seen Yusuke?"   
  
The jaganshi gave a stiff nod. "He was in pursuit of the youkai thief."  
  
"Ah. Well in that case he should be back here any minute."   
  
And Kurama was right, for just then Yusuke came waltzing up carrying the demon perpetrator  
over his right shoulder. He had a particularly satisfied grin on his face. "Hi guys! Brought back a  
present," he said.  
  
He looked at all of his friend's faces. They were all exhausted and not nearly in as good a mood  
as he was. He raised an eyebrow. "Right, well uh . . . shall we get this dude back to Reikai?"  
  
Kuwabara sighed. "Yeah, let's get outta here. I'm beat."   
  
The pair started walking off, but then stopped. Yusuke looked over his free shoulder. "Aren't you  
guys coming?" he asked, addressing Kurama and Hiei who still stood in their places, unmoving.   
  
Kurama shook his head. "I'm going to stay a bit and clean up here."  
  
"Clean up?" Yusuke looked around. "Clean what up?"  
  
The fox motioned toward the devastated vegetation all around them.   
  
"Oh. Well okay then, guess I'll see you around. You comin' Hiei?" Yusuke asked, eyeing his  
darkly clad friend.   
  
Hiei shook his head, and Yusuke knew better than to ask why, so he and Kuwabara said their  
good-byes and went off on their merry way.   
  
When they could no longer be seen, Kurama turned to Hiei. "You know you don't have to stay  
here with me."  
  
Hiei snorted. "You're low on energy, if a youkai decided to jump you, you wouldn't have a  
chance," he said.  
  
Kurama sighed and looked toward the sky. "Well I'm glad you have so much confidence in me,"  
he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "In any case, you could help by spreading out these  
bodies . . . it'll be good nutrition for the trees once I've got them going again." With that he  
turned his back to Hiei and began walking toward a particularly mutilated patch of ground and  
set to work.   
  
Hiei waited until he knew Kurama was very interested in his work before he let his face twist  
into an undeniable expression of pain. His wound was throbbing, and he'd lost a lot of blood in  
the battle. He'd gotten hit there a few times, which hadn't helped, but fortunately, none of his  
companions had noticed. He had been careful not to keep his back to them, for if they knew of  
the wound they would surely worry, but he didn't want that. They should not waste their feelings  
on him . . . he wasn't worth their concern.   
  
Hiei took a moment to compose himself before doing as Kurama had asked. There were a few  
youkai corpses that he had to burn so that the various poisons from their bodies would not infect  
the ground, and others that he dismembered and spread around for fear that somehow they would  
rebuild themselves. Some demons had a tendency to do that, he was just being cautious.   
  
As he worked, he became more tired than he had been before. He could feel his eyelids weighing  
down on his eyes, but he fought his weariness. His head began to ache and his vision started to  
blur in and out. Nausea set in heavily in the pit of his stomach. He could hear Kurama begin to  
speak to him, but the fox's words were blurred together and he could not comprehend them, and  
then, all the sounds around him seemed to run into one another and were replaced by the  
shockingly loud sound of complete and utter nothingness.   
  
Suddenly, his breath caught in his throat, and it felt like someone was strangling him. His limbs  
became unbelievable heavy. Hiei couldn't avoid falling to his knees, and then, though he fought,  
he collapsed fully on the ground his body and mind giving way to unconsciousness.   
  
***  
  
Kurama, ever enshrouded in his work, continued talking quite randomly. He had a tendency to  
do that around Hiei, though he wasn't sure why. Sometimes when it was just him and the fire  
youkai he felt strangely nervous and that was a feeling that the fox had little experience with.  
  
". . . and I guess the truth is . . ." Kurama let his sentence trail off as he realized that he couldn't  
feel or hear Hiei's movement behind him. He blinked and pulled his hands away from the  
ground. He stood up to turn around. Green eyes went wide at the sight of his partner lying on the  
ground. "Hiei!"  
  
He rushed over to his friend and knelt down beside him. The fox quickly, carefully flipped Hiei's  
body upward so he could see his face. The youkai was completely unconscious. Kurama stood  
up with Hiei in his arms and shook his head. He couldn't imagine why Hiei would have passed  
out, he hadn't used the black dragon. That's when he felt it. The blood, it smeared from Hiei's  
body onto his hands and the fabric of his arms. Kurama's heart raced. Blood from another's body  
was such a sickening feeling. The slimy texture of it dominated the senses and that feeling never  
left the memory. No, it lingered . . . especially when the blood belonged to a friend.  
  
He ran. The fox sprinted, tearing open a portal to the Ningenkai. Hiei was injured badly, but he  
could help him, he knew he could. Kurama's mind was in frenzy, which ultimately was a foreign  
sensation. Calm had always been a valued trait, a signature particularly to him. He did not know  
why he was so frantic now, but it didn't matter, only Hiei did.  
  
Kurama's mind pondered over what could have happened to the fire demon, and so, when he saw  
his house in front of him, large and strangely imposing in the dark of the human night, he was  
surprised. He wondered briefly how far he had run and how quickly before he came to the door  
to his house. He cursed as he found that the door was locked. He positioned the darkly clad  
burden in his arms and as he fumbled for his keys he smiled in irony. Now he knew why Hiei  
loathed doors so much.  
  
The house was dark and quiet. Naturally though, for his mother and stepfather were on their  
second honeymoon and his younger stepbrother was away at soccer camp for a few weeks. He  
supposed that it had all worked out rather fortunately for him now.  
  
He rushed upstairs to his room and flipped on the light with his shoulder, being the only  
body part accessible to him at the time. He sighed as he laid Hiei on his bed face down. His  
room was a comfortable sanctuary for him. Its familiarity calmed his nerves. He shook his head  
at his wandering mind and pushed his hair behind his ears.   
  
He leaned over Hiei and inspected the dark, red color that stained his black cloak. The fox bit his  
lip. Hiei's black cloak indeed. He couldn't very well heal the wound with that article of clothing  
so effectively in the way. Carefully, he began to lift the material up off of Hiei's back. He could  
still get to the wound then without having to go through the trouble of completely stripping Hiei  
of the cloak, ah but then it would be too easy, wouldn't it?   
  
Kurama stopped pulling the garment up when he heard Hiei moan. He cursed yet again. It was  
as he had feared. The portion of fabric covering the wound had been, in a metaphoric sense,  
glued in place by bodily fluid and thick blood. Kurama took a deep breath as he thought about  
what to do. If he pulled it up all in one rush, it could irritate the injury. On the other hand, he  
could try and cut the material away, but because of the cloak being black he wouldn't be able to  
see exactly was he was doing and that method would take some time to complete and be just as  
painful, if not more so than the latter. He knew the obvious choice.   
  
He grabbed hold of the fabric and in one fluid motion pulled it up off of the weeping wound. He  
winced as he heard Hiei groan in pain that the fire-koorime could still feel even in the pit of  
unconsciousness.   
  
He pulled the cloak over Hiei's head and decided to take the whole thing off so that Hiei's torso  
was bared completely. Green eyes widened at the damage they saw. Blood-covered skin that  
was burnt and blackened hung in shredded strips, desperately attempting to cover the pussy, gory  
mass of abused, bloody muscles that were sleek with traumatized bodily fluid. Kurama made a  
face of disgust. It wasn't the WORST he'd ever seen, but that didn't mean it was pretty.   
  
He strode over to the bathroom and grabbed some latex gloves, gauze, and medical scissors then  
returned back to Hiei's unmoving form. He sighed. First thing first, he had to cut away all that  
dead skin, and so Kurama set to work on the mentioned step one. Hiei only winced or groaned  
twice, and the fox thanked Enma for that. He really did hate the idea of hurting his friend.   
  
When he finished, he could get a better idea of the extent of Hiei's burns. Once again, they  
weren't as bad as they could have been, but then, they weren't as GOOD as they could have been  
either. He dug through his hair and pulled out two seeds. He stared at them for a moment. The  
battle hadn't left him with a large amount of you-ki at his disposal but the two plants in question  
were fairly basic, and exclusively native to the Makai. It wouldn't take a large amount of coaxing  
to get them to grow. And so, Kurama forced the little seedlings to progress into their adulthood  
and even then they were small. After that, it was time for Kurama to play apothecary so he  
quickly retrieved a bowl and from one plant extracted a bluish liquid, while from the other he  
merely plucked its small, star-shaped petals. He mixed the two components together easily, for  
the bluish liquid seemed to dissolve the small petals. Together they made a thick sort of salve  
that Kurama knew was good for only one thing, and that was serious burns.   
  
Hiei's back would be sensitive to the touch of his hands, but hopefully the cool, numbing effect  
of the mixture would relinquish that pain factor. The fox covered his fingertips with the salve  
and gently touched the jaganshi's back. Hiei winced and Kurama held his breath until Hiei's  
expression of agony had ebbed. Then, and only then did the former youko began to spread the  
salve over the injury, carefully, gently, and terribly cautiously. The fire youkai did not react  
again at all, much to the redhead's relief.  
  
Kurama finished and washed his hands of the medicine, but his work was not finished. He  
grabbed the white gauze and began dressing the wound neatly. It was a strenuous process though  
because he had to wrap around Hiei's slender torso, and every time he lifted the petite form, he  
was deathly afraid that he would in some way hurt Hiei. When he finally finished, he simply had  
to let out a relieved sigh.   
  
A sliver of a smile softly graced Kurama's lips as he examined Hiei's slumbering profile. He  
couldn't stop his fingertips from brushing a few of those dark bangs out of the demon's pale face.  
"Oh Hiei, what did you do to yourself?" he whispered.   
  
Cleaning up his mess forced him to be very careful, as he couldn't leave any evidence of his work  
lying around for his dear Kaasan to accidentally stumble upon some day. Afterwards, he situated  
Hiei so that he at least LOOKED comfortable lying on his stomach, and then he pulled the sheet  
and the comforter up over his still form. Everything seemed too still for Kurama. Before, he had  
felt  
that the silence was strangely loud, but such a time of worry was over and he knew his friend  
would be okay. Watching Hiei's steady breathing, how it gently rocked his slender form, Kurama  
felt lulled. Suddenly, he was reminded of his own fatigue from the fight, and then of coarse it's  
aftermath. He still wondered what had happened to cause such an injury, and then why Hiei  
hadn't said something earlier. If the youkai had simply spoken of the wound, he would have been  
able to avoid the whole process of passing out, which would have saved Kurama an awful  
amount of grief. He shook his head and decided he would ask that question of Hiei when he  
woke up. A yawn escaped him. But that moment, he needed to sleep.  
  
It took a few moments to grab a spare futon from his closet, slide it next to the bed, and adorn it  
with bedding. Kurama changed into his nightclothes, which consisted of a simple pair of gray  
sweats and an old white T-shirt. He switched off his room light and climbed under the covers.   
Sleep weighed heavily on his emerald eyes, and Kurama did not fight as blissful unconsciousness  
claimed him.  
  
That night, it rained, and the strong wind pressed those tiny droplets against the window. Such  
sounds were soothing to Kurama, even the small roll of thunder that occasionally rose up above  
the howling wind to gently shout its presence was welcome. As it was, these kindred sounds  
were not the reason for the foxes awakening.   
  
His green, tired eyes drifted open, greeted by still, darkness. He yawned as he heard the rain, the  
wind, and the gentle thunder outside. Storms were lovely things. Usually they had the power to  
lull him to sleep and keep him floating in the comforting realms of the dream scape, but such was  
not the case.   
  
He yawned, covering his mouth as he slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. His body  
felt lax, and entirely too heavy. Moving at that moment seemed fairly out of the question until he  
heard the sound that had pulled him out of his pleasant slumber. He looked up suddenly and saw  
Hiei thrashing about in the bed, mumbling incoherent things. Kurama jumped to his feet, nearly  
falling off of the futon in his rush. He hesitated at seeing Hiei's panicked state, not knowing  
quite what to do. However, he DID know that if his friend kept moving so much he would upset  
his wounds as well as the healing process. Kurama frowned. That wasn't going to happen, he'd  
gone through hell treating Hiei!  
  
Without another thought, Kurama did the only thing he figured he could and pressed his body  
carefully, yet firmly over Hiei's. He slid his hands over Hiei's tightly balled fists and laid his  
head in the junction between his neck and shoulder. The fox's crimson locks fell around them in  
silky waves as he began whispering soft words of reassurance. His easy tenor joined the melodic  
sound of the rain that kept time against the window, and the strong, gentle bass of the thunder.   
Even the wind seemed to hum, and Hiei's body began to relax under Kurama's.  
  
Kurama kept whispering as he gradually moved off of Hiei's body. The kitsune straightened out  
the disheveled covers, and double-checked his bandages. It was when he was situating the  
slender form that Hiei's body drew tense again and his fist lashed out toward an unsuspecting  
Kurama. The fox cursed as he was hit right across his right cheekbone. He winced. That would  
definitely be a painful bruise in the morning. Sighing, he began to gently coax Hiei back into  
calmness, this time determined not to get in the way of any potentially painful strikes.   
  
It took a good ten minutes to completely keep the fire youkai from thrashing in his sleep, and  
Kurama was still so tired. Not to mention that, along with his lack of sleep, and low energy, his  
cheek was now throbbing. He groaned as he felt the beginnings of a very large migraine coming  
on. His eyes meandered longingly over toward the beckoning, comfortable looking futon on the  
floor. He shook his head. Oh if only fate were kind. Instead, Kurama grabbed the blanket,  
pulled up a chair at the foot of the bed and sat down. He would have to monitor Hiei throughout  
the night. Emerald eyes caught sight of a thick book lying on his desk. He flipped on his small  
desk light and hugged the book to his chest. "Ah Shakespeare, you are my only friend right  
now."  
  
***  
  
~*~  
  
Makai winds were hollow. They cried as they spun throughout the forest and left an empty, cold  
feeling inside of all those they came in contact with . . . all but Hiei. The jaganshi was all ready  
empty.  
  
What was the cold to a lost soul anyway? What was the cold to someone whose spirit had gone  
numb so long ago? The cold was nothing to him but a distant memory. There was only one  
thing that was for certain, and that was survival. His instincts bade him to stay alive, to spill the  
blood of the ones who dared oppose him. He had followed those instincts and he had defeated  
his enemy, but not unscathed. His own blood, thick, and dark ran from a deep cut in his forearm.   
  
Such an injury was the reason that the fire demon found himself sitting cross-legged next to a  
waterfall that filled a winding river. The river was nameless, and yet it ran through most of the  
northern part of the Makai. Its waters had a fine reputation for having more cleansing  
capabilities than most, and so this was where he went to clean and disinfect the gash that  
separated his pale skin.   
  
He rinsed the blood from the skin and tore a long strip from his black tank top. He could only do  
so well with one hand, but he managed to wrap his wound. His own body would hopefully  
provide the problem a quick recovery. As it was, his body had always healed faster than others.   
He didn't know why. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was a hybrid of two opposing forces.   
Perhaps it was within him, the Forbidden Child that the elements had learned to coexist.   
  
Hiei snorted at this thought as he quickly retreated to sitting atop a large, gray boulder at the  
water's edge. The rushing sound of the falls filled his ears. He allowed his muscles to relax a  
little and he closed his red eyes. All that mattered was survival of the fittest. The last one  
standing was the only one who deserved to be left alive. Natural selection. Who could argue  
with those points? No one.  
  
He must have stayed as he was for at least a half hour before he heard a faint rustling not far in  
front of him, but something told him that whatever was there would not harm him. He sighed as  
he opened his eyes and found himself staring straight into someone else's. They were large,  
young, and amber in color. Hiei scowled as he sat up and backed away slightly so that he could  
behold the creature at a proper distance. It was a small, gray fox kit.   
  
"Hello," it greeted with a toothy grin.  
  
Hiei merely stared at it.  
  
The kit tilted its head to the side. "Are you not able to talk?" it questioned.  
  
Hiei rolled his eyes. "Run home kid," he said in a warning tone. The child did not seem to pick  
up on the bite in Hiei's low voice.  
  
"Oh I see. You're grumpy because you got a boo-boo."  
  
Hiei's eyes went wide at that comment. He followed the child's pointing index finger to the  
blood that was seeping through his make shift bandages. He could think of a thousand things to  
say to the kit, but when he opened his mouth, the child began to speak again.  
  
"Does it hurt? I bet so. Whenever I get hurt, my Mommy always kisses it to make it feel better."  
The kid's amber eyes looked around the empty area. "Your Mommy must not be here right now.   
Want me to kiss it for you?"  
  
Hiei groaned. He didn't need this right now! "Look little kitsune, didn't your Mother ever teach  
you that it's dangerous to talk to strangers?"  
  
The kit hopped up on the boulder right next to Hiei, it's little fuzzy feet dangling off the edge.   
"Yeah, but you aren't a bad stranger. You got nice eyes. Mommy says that you can tell lot's by  
someone's eyes."  
  
Hiei stared at the kit. It was so young, and so unafraid of him. It trusted him. That was, to say  
the least, unusual. The mind of a child was something spectacular, something pure. A child's  
mind was incomprehensible, so capable, and yet so innocent that the child itself would never  
realize any of that. It was so perfect, but how could such a thing be? It made no sense, but then  
at the same time, it made all the sense in every world.  
  
Suddenly, the kit's gray ears perked up. "Oops, that's my Mommy callin' me. I gotta go." It  
hopped of the boulder and stumbled a little when it hit the ground. Its puffy, sleek gray tail  
wagged slightly as it turned its back to the jaganshi. It began trotting away, but then stopped  
suddenly. It looked over its shoulder at him. "Wait there. I'll be right back."   
  
The little fox disappeared into the surrounding forest and Hiei could hear it moving about, not  
straying far it seemed from the forest edge. Not long later, the child emerged holding something  
in its small, chubby little hands. It walked straight up to him and extended one hand to Hiei.   
Those tiny fingers held onto the thin, green stem of a little yellow flower. "Mommy says that  
flowers heal through bringin' happiness, so now maybe your owie will stop hurtin' so you don't  
gotta be grumpy anymore."   
  
Hiei hesitantly accepted the small flower and the little kit opened its mouth to say something  
else, but then stopped and scrunched up its face. "Ah! I'm comin' Mommy!" it yelled. The kit  
turned on its heel and began to trot away. It cast one last glance at Hiei and waved before  
completely disappearing into the woods.   
  
Hiei gazed at the small flower held in the palm of his hand, and he continued to do so for several  
minutes to come.   
  
His arm throbbed, but for the most part, the serious bleeding had ebbed. Now, one would have to  
strain their eyes in order to see the various spots of blood that had seeped through the black  
bandages.   
  
Hiei grunted as he jumped to another tree. To others his form was nothing but a black blur  
against the dark green foliage and the wild, stormy Makai sky. Hiei did not know where exactly  
it was that he was going, but he was sure that he was going in a direction and that was all he  
really needed to know. Somewhere, something would happen to grab his attention. Some beast  
of a demon that believed it was powerful would challenge him and he would accept. He would  
win the battle and kill the sorry excuse for a demon in cold blood, then go on his merry way.   
That was how it was . . . how it had always been really. This was his life, and although many  
would say that it wasn't much of one, Hiei didn't care. In the Makai you fought and killed no  
matter how pathetic your life was. It wasn't so much that life held any sort of sentimental value it  
was actually more about pride and property. Your life belonged to you, and you defend what is  
yours. It was sort of an unwritten rule . . . an instinct really.   
  
He stopped as something brushed his senses. His skin tingled slightly. He was picking up a ki  
signature. Ironically enough, it was in the opposite direction he was going. He had nothing  
better to do and so he turned around and flitted back toward the waterfall he had been at hours  
before. The signature wasn't terribly menacing, in fact, it was nothing compared to him. A work  
out would be good though, why not? Hiei stopped on the branch of one tree. He was closer he  
knew that. The waterfall was several trees ahead of him, but that wasn't the direction that he felt  
the energy. He turned his body to the left and couldn't help a smirk as the energy tugged harder  
on his senses.   
  
The trees rustled softly as Hiei bounded gently onto their branches, staying for only a fraction of  
a second before he was gone. They didn't seem to mind his presence. He was far lighter and  
gentler than so many other creatures. He was quieter too. No, the trees didn't mind him at all, in  
fact, they liked him quite well and always offered him the shelter that they could provide, their  
trust, and kindness. Hiei was always grateful to them.   
  
Suddenly a loud growl broke through the silent air, startling him and making him lose his  
footing. Fortunately, he was able to grab onto a sturdy tree branch and steady himself. Ruby  
eyes glared toward an up coming clearing. He didn't have to sense the creature anymore . . . he  
could smell its fowl stench polluting the surrounding air.   
  
Swiftly, Hiei started toward the clearing. He caught glimpses of it through the leaves and  
branches. He could make out figures, in particular, one very large one. It was then that he heard  
several screams. Instantly, the over whelming scent of blood rushed into the air. Hiei blinked. It  
was young blood.   
  
He hurried his pace. He raised his you-ki level a little as he came to the last tree where he  
perched on a branch. The large demon turned its head toward him, one, large eye blinked, and  
widened before it slowly backed up, then turned and sprinted away. Hiei was on the verge of  
chasing after it. His muscles were tense for a fight, his hands itching to handle his katana. His  
eyes crying out see blood.   
  
'Blood . . .' The word echoed in his mind. He snapped his head away from the demon's retreating  
form as the painful sound of lamenting filled his ears. Hiei looked down at the clearing and it  
felt as though his heart had stopped. There was a youko down there. She was red with tear  
filled amber eyes and so were her three little kits. Her white garments were soaked with blood as  
she cradled and rocked back and forth with something very small in her arms. Something that,  
unlike the others, was gray. A gaping hole taunted him from the child's back.   
  
Hiei could feel himself begin to shake and he closed his fists tightly, not able to tear his eyes  
away from the scene. It was not right. That little child . . . was talking to him only hours before.   
It was there, sitting with him, trusting him. The kit . . . how could it be . . . be dead? Dead . . .  
just like that, for no . . . reason.   
  
'Survival of the fittest,' answered a voice in his mind. A voice that was . . . his voice, but it felt  
wrong. It felt foreign.   
  
He shook his head. 'No . . . it was just . . . a kid. It didn't . . . know HOW to survive . . . '  
  
'What are you worried about? You're alive, aren't you?' asked the voice.  
  
Hiei took a few deep breaths as a certain empty realization hit him. Survival of the fittest? By  
no means could it be justified. By no mean should that child have died. It had barely had a  
chance to live and it was innocent. Completely pure and innocent. It was dead, but he, a  
murderer, one who had slaughtered for power and for pleasure was alive, breathing, unscathed.  
  
'I'm alive, but . . . I shouldn't be . . .'  
  
The trees whispered as a dark shadow disappeared. A small, crushed yellow flower floated  
toward the ground only to be caught by a lonely breeze and carried away into a lingering void of  
dark nothingness.   
  
~*~  
  
Hiei's crimson eyes snapped open and he groaned as rays of sunlight sliced through his vision.   
He squinted against the offending light and he tried to steady his breathing. His heart was  
beating rapidly in his chest, and he was sweating. He just needed a few moments to calm himself  
down. That particular dream always left him in state of panic. It reminded him of the emptiness  
inside of him, the darkness, and the self-loathing. His soul felt tired, numb almost.   
  
Hiei blinked slowly, grateful for the fact that his eyes were adjusting to the light. Now that he  
could see he decided he needed to find out where he was. The place was not the Makai for  
certain. The familiar smell of pine dirt did not greet him, however, the scent of fabric softener  
and roses did. He was not lying on the branch of a tree, but rather something soft and very warm.   
He felt more at ease than he did in the Makai, and there was only one place that he ever felt like  
that in. No doubt, he was in Kurama's Ningen home, specifically, in the fox's bedroom. What he  
couldn't figure out was why he was there. Surely there was a reason. Hiei tried to roll over as he  
thought, but ended up hissing as thick tendrils of pain drove spikes through his body. At that  
point, everything came back to him. Saving Yusuke, his injury, the battle, helping Kurama, his  
fatigue.   
  
Hiei let out yet another groan and very carefully he turned onto his side. His stiff muscles  
screamed at him to stop, and so Hiei allowed himself a few seconds to rest before slowly pushing  
himself up to a sitting position. Much to his dissatisfaction, he found himself panting from the  
effort. He positioned himself just enough so that the pain wasn't completely unbearable. His  
eyes caught sight of the gauzy bandages wrapped around the better part of his torso and he  
sighed. The work was flawless. It had been done carefully and to the exact precessions of an  
obvious perfectionist.   
  
A slight shuffling sounded was made, causing Hiei to look to the sound's source. He didn't know  
why, but he was surprised to see Kurama. The fox was curled up in a chair right at the foot of the  
bed. A blanket was wrapped around his slender, graceful body and he rested his head on his  
knees, which were brought up comfortably to his chest. Those crimson locks of silky hair hung  
over his shoulder like trapped waves. It was difficult not to notice the way the sunlight had  
managed to catch a few strands of hair almost illuminating their dazzling color. Kurama's pale  
skin, flawless in every way took on a golden hue in the early morning light. His even breathing  
was the only thing that laid proof to the fact that the beautiful fox was an actual living being and  
not some figment of the imagination.  
  
Hiei noticed a book lying open on the floor as if it were personally inviting him to read the sacred  
words on those off-white pages, and there were a lot of pages. From where he was he managed  
to make out a few words, but the print was so small that he couldn't gather much. However, from  
what he did pick up and from what he knew of Kurama, Hiei was sure that the book's author was  
Shakespeare.   
  
He frowned. That book was one of Kurama's very favorites. The kitsune practically worshiped it  
and would never in a million years leave it open and discarded on the floor. Further more,  
Kurama was asleep in a chair. That wasn't right because he knew for a fact that Kurama slept in  
a bed. His frown deepened. Kurama wasn't in the bed because Hiei was. The next thing that  
came to his attention was the empty futon on the floor. Because his frown could not delve any  
deeper, Hiei clenched his fists until his knuckles were white.   
  
So, it was obvious that Kurama had taken care of his injuries and allowed him to sleep in his bed.  
The fox had planned on sleeping on the floor, but something had happened to make him move to  
the chair. Judging by the book, Kurama's intent was to keep watch over him all night. As it was,  
the fox had failed and had fallen asleep. The fire youkai cursed under his breath. Kurama's you-  
ki was low meaning simply that it hadn't had a lot of time to replenish since the battle happened  
the day before.  
  
Frustration and anger boiled up inside of him. No! That wasn't what was supposed to happen. It  
wasn't right. Hiei's fingers clutched at the white sheets. He looked down into his lap, gently  
shaking his head. He did not want anyone to sacrifice their own well being for the sake of his, it  
wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it.  
  
Lifting his head, he spied his black cloak folded up the desk where Kurama could usually be  
found doing his homework or some other ningen activity. He needed to leave. If he stayed,  
Kurama would continue to tend to him, still neglecting his own injuries. His body cried out  
against the movements that it took for him to climb off the bed and stand up, but that was  
expected and completely ignored. He took a few more seconds to catch his breath and then he  
was ready to take his first step, but that step had to have been cursed because the moment he took  
it, a groggy sounding tenor graced the quiet room.  
  
"Going somewhere?"  
  
Hiei paused, but then looked over to the voice's owner. Kurama was no longer curled up but  
rather he was sitting up with the ever-present perfect posture. He sat with his legs crossed and  
his hands folded neatly in his lap. His neat, vibrant red hair framed his face and those mysterious  
green eyes twinkled. A very small, barely noticeable smile played on his lips. He wore it often,  
but it's meaning could never be deciphered or solved even by the greatest detectives.   
  
"I'm leaving," Hiei said. He did not want to stay, so he was going to go. It was that simple.  
  
Kurama's calm exterior did not alter. "I would advise against it Hiei," he replied.  
  
The jaganshi truly did not care what the fox advised. He needed to leave. It was for Kurama's  
sake anyway . . . not that he would say so. He was about to respond, but was not given the  
chance.  
  
"Hiei, your injury is very delicate. When you passed out yesterday--"  
  
The dark-haired youkai fixed his friend with a piercing gaze. "I passed out?"  
  
Kurama's defined eyebrows rose a little. "Yes. You don't remember?"  
  
"No."  
  
The fox shrugged. "That makes sense, but you remember everything else before that right?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
Hiei's answer was acknowledged by a slight nod. "When you passed out, I picked you up and  
ended up covered in blood. I immediately took you back here to tend to you."  
  
Hiei snorted softly and looked out the window. He noticed for the first time that it was splattered  
with raindrops. "You tended to my wound, so now I'm going to go."  
  
"Hiei," Kurama started, a sharp tone to his still calm voice, "that injury is very delicate. Despite  
what you were attacked with, that injury is still classified as a burn and burns are very susceptible  
to infection. You need to rest, heal, and regain your strength."  
  
Hiei stared at Kurama. The fox saw a certain something in his friend's eyes. It was what could  
only be described as the essence of nothing. It was like those eyes were empty. His own eyes  
narrowed a little. In any case, Hiei wasn't buying what he had just told him.   
  
He sighed. "Well, the least you can do is let me change your bandages. Those have outworn their  
use."  
  
Hiei stared at Kurama for a long moment. He didn't want to stay. He didn't want to let Kurama  
change his bandages, but something in that kitsune's eyes obligated him to comply. He gave a  
curt nod, to which Kurama put on a genuine smile.  
  
"Thank you. Now, go back to the bed and sit down. I'll be back in flash with the supplies."   
  
Hiei reluctantly did as he was told. The bed felt good to him though. It was warm and  
comfortable, almost soothing. Had the sound of Kurama coming and going from the room not  
been a factor, Hiei imagined he might have fallen over and gone back asleep. He was still so  
tired.   
  
***  
  
It was a full ten minutes before Kurama had everything gathered and set up around him. He  
walked up to the bedside but then stopped as his foot nudged something on the floor. Looking  
down, he discovered that something was a book. He frowned. He had meant to stay awake  
to monitor his friend, but he hadn't been able to. He vaguely remembered reaching the final act  
of Romeo and Juliet before he fell asleep. He bent down and picked up his beloved book.   
Checking it over for bent pages and the likes before closing it, Kurama placed the book on his  
bookshelf in its own respectable location. Only then did he walk back to the bedside.  
  
"I'm glad you're awake. This is going to make this entire process ten times easier than it was last  
night," he commented as he found the end of the gauze that was held in place by medical tape.  
  
Hiei frowned as he moved his arms out of the way so that Kurama could unwrap him more  
easily. "Sorry," he mumbled. He had to say something. Kurama should not have worried about  
him.  
  
The kitsune glanced at Hiei as he finished the last of the bandages. "For what?" he asked. He  
turned his back to the jaganshi in order to throw the string of gauze away.  
  
Hiei looked to the side, suddenly finding the sheets extremely fascinating. "For being a problem,"  
he replied quietly.  
  
Kurama came back over to him, but did not spare him a glance. He pulled out a mixing bowl and  
began came up with the two plants he had used the night before. Hiei watched his friend mixing  
the two plants out of the corner of his eye. Kurama looked at him then, so he averted his eyes  
more out of habit that anything else.  
  
"Okay, lay down on your stomach," came the instructions.   
  
Hiei complied. A shiver ran up his spine as the cool salve was applied to his back. He wondered  
how bad it really was. As if reading his thoughts, Kurama spoke up.  
  
"First of all, me fixing you up hardly made you a problem, second, this wound could be a lot  
worse than it is, but that doesn't mean it isn't serious. I had to cut away strings of burnt flesh. If  
you feel light headed for a while it's because of blood loss. I suppose I don't have to tell you, but  
I will anyway. You are going to be terribly sore. You should refrain from making sudden  
movements or anything related, otherwise, you risk irritating it."  
  
Hiei snorted. That news wasn't exactly classified information. Another question prodded his  
mind. "What about your family?" he asked.  
  
"My mother and father are on their second honeymoon and my step brother is away at soccer  
camp. Over all, you couldn't have chosen a more convenient time to get hurt." There was a  
slight hint of humor in Kurama's voice, but Hiei wasn't in the mood.   
  
After a while, Hiei noticed that he could no longer feel Kurama's massaging hands and he looked  
to see the fox wiping his hands clean with a towel. Kurama smiled at him in a friendly manner  
and motioned for Hiei to sit up. Hiei did. The fire demon watched as the fox grabbed a fresh roll  
of white gauze and pulled up a chair so that he was sitting right in front of him.  
  
"Tell me if I'm wrapping too tight, I don't want to hurt you," Kurama said as he started.  
  
His work was paced and perfect just like always. Hiei trusted Kurama, but it still wasn't right.   
He tilted his head to the side a little. Kurama was paced, yet sluggish. With the sun to the  
youko's back, his skin color was not manipulated and so Hiei could tell that although his skin was  
pale, it actually had a slight grayish tint to it. Those green eyes were as lively and vivid as ever,  
but underneath those eyes the skin was somewhat baggy and dark. Those were all signs of  
fatigue, but what he was confused about was the dark bruise that marred Kurama's right cheek.   
He didn't remember Kurama having that during the battle; of course it could very well have  
developed over night. "Kurama--"  
  
"It's nothing." The fox's voice was mellow as he cut Hiei's statement off. He was well aware that  
Hiei was examining the bruise and he wasn't about to tell the youkai that he had put it there. He  
felt Hiei's eyes on him and suddenly felt frustrated. "I got smacked in the face by a fairly random  
attack . . . like I said, it's nothing." He made himself sound nonchalant. He wasn't sure if Hiei  
bought it or not, but either way he didn't consider it a big deal. Hiei would throw a fit if he found  
out, which was why Kurama decided that Hiei simply wouldn't.  
  
Kurama finished wrapping in silence. Hiei did not speak to him and he did not speak to Hiei.   
The silence wasn't comfortable, but not terribly uncomfortable either. It was just sitting there,  
indolently waiting to end. How depressing.  
  
The jaganshi started to get up, but a firm hand on his chest kept him from doing so. "Kurama."   
That was all he said.  
  
Kurama didn't acknowledge that he said anything. He just fixed him with an emerald gaze.   
"Stay put for a while Hiei, jusT relax and rest up," he said.  
  
Hiei leaned back against the pillow. It hurt, but he didn't care. Pain was a part of life. He folded  
his arms over his chest. Kurama busied himself with picking up the room. "You have plenty of  
room to talk fox," he said.  
  
Kurama didn't face him. "What are you talking about?" he asked.  
  
"You're tired. You look exhausted and your ki is low. YOU are the one who should be resting,  
Kurama."  
  
This time the fox did turn to stare at him. "I'm not the one injured Hiei," he replied back.  
  
"This isn't the first time I've been injured. You're over reacting."   
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"Yes you are. You've practically got me under house arrest."   
  
Kurama sighed and leaned against the desk. "You wouldn't be stuck here against your will if you  
had told someone about your wound. Why didn't you?"  
  
Hiei looked away. "I didn't think it was that bad."  
  
"You knew exactly what it was. I know you knew. What? Did you plan on just letting it go?  
Were you going to tell ANYONE? Hiei if that had gotten infected, it could have killed you,"  
Kurama's voice was strained now. Something about that last statement shook him up inside.   
  
"It's none of your business Kurama, just leave me alone!" Hiei shouted suddenly. He didn't want  
hear it. "Why didn't you just leave me?" he asked then, his usually strong voice soft and shaky.  
  
Kurama's eyes widened. "Leave you? What kind of a question is that!?"   
  
Before any more words could be exchanged, Hiei got up from the bed, ignoring his protesting  
body. He had to go. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't like where the conversation was  
going, and just looking at Kurama pained him. The fox was exhausted and all because he spent  
what little energy he had on a youkai who could've cared less whether he lived or died. He had to  
leave. It just wasn't right.   
  
"Hiei you can't go, you're still hurt," Kurama told him and stepped in his path. Hiei went around  
him and grabbed his cloak from the desk. He pushed the window opened and leapt up onto the  
sill. He glared one last time at Kurama before he completely disappeared.   
  
"Hiei!" Kurama called after him in one last vain attempt. He knew he couldn't bring Hiei back,  
but he was desperate. He shook his head as he closed the window and plopped down in his chair.   
How had that gone so horribly wrong? Why had Hiei reacted so badly, and what was with that  
question? Leave him behind? Why in the three worlds would Kurama do something like that?   
  
He slammed his fist down on the desktop. It was so frustrating! "Damn it Hiei!" he cursed  
aloud. It didn't make sense and then his mind reverted back to when he saw Hiei's eyes. Those  
eyes were so . . . void. It was like they were two sheets of beautiful red stain glass with no light  
behind them. It didn't make sense. It just didn't make sense. Kurama laid his head down. There  
came that migraine again . . .   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
To be continued . . . 


	3. Chapter 3

To Catch Forbidden Tears  
By: Obsidian Sphinx & Lonely Wanderer  
Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Once a little fairy asked if we owned Yu Yu Hakusho and then we shot it, and it died. So, the moral of the story is, we don't own the show. :Grin:

Author's Note: Hey everyone! We're soooooooooooooo sorry this took so long! But here's what happened: One day, while happily discussing the future chapters of the story, we got an urgent call to go to New York. Naturally, we knew it must be important because Bob, our New York guy, never jokes. So, we booked a plane to New York, but on the way a fighter plane mistook our commercial airline for the enemy and started shooting at us! Everyone was forced to evacuate the plane, but there weren't enough parachutes for all of us, and we got left behind to go down with the aircraft. Fortunately the plane, while spiraling downward, got caught in a conveniently formed air pocket, and we drifted gracefully toward an island with savages inhabiting it. Fortunately, they were nice savages and agreed to help us figure out how we got from the New York route all the way to a deserted Island in the middle of the ocean. We came to the conclusion that an inconveniently placed time warp was the cause; however, this did nothing to help us get home, as our plane, though virtually unharmed, was out of gas. We lived on the island for over a year and a half before Bob, our New York guy, drove by in his yacht and picked us up. So, we went home and were finally able to finish the next chapter and post!  
. . . . Um . . . . Okay, so one of us got distracted by other stories.  
Lonely Wanderer: (Glares at Obsidian Sphinx)  
Obsidian Sphinx: eheh . . . .(Shrinks away)  
Anyway, sorry about the wait. Enjoy this chapter! Happy Readings!  
Lonely Wanderer: Happy Trails!  
Obsidian Sphinx: (Smacks Wanderer with newspaper)  
Lonely Wanderer: Hey! (Glomps Sphinx)

Key:  
Shifting Perspective -  
Dream Scape, New Location -

It happened every time. Hiei always ended up in the same place. He always wound up as a lone figure standing in the middle of a familiar clearing that was filled with nothing but sorrow. Images of that little kitsune passed through his mind, reminding him of the emptiness inside of him. They were a constant cite to the day when he realized the worthlessness of his life.

A cold Makai breeze swept around him in an attempt to freeze his soul, but the wind could not freeze what was all ready frozen.

Slowly, Hiei sank to the ground, heedless of the cold dampness that seeped through his clothing. His breathing was paced and came out in little puffs of white smoke, but Hiei couldn't feel the cold. It was strange not being able to feel the world around him. He didn't recognize 'cold' or 'hot', he couldn't feel the swaying trees any more, and he didn't recall what it felt like to live. He couldn't place why he had fought for his life before, why he had thought it was worth fighting for. He didn't remember what it was like to be wary of death.

Hiei took a deep breath, the icy air filling his lungs. He welcomed death, he hoped for it because he knew he deserved it. But Hiei respected death, and believed that it would claim him when it saw fit, and so he would never dare take the pleasure of ending him away from such a worthy thing as death.

Suddenly, he frowned a bit. Perhaps though, death had tried to claim him. Perhaps he was meant to die in that battle. The fox had saved him at the expense of his own health. It seemed preposterous to Hiei. It angered him. How dare Kurama save him from death? Why couldn't the kitsune understand that his life wasn't worth giving for Hiei's? Why didn't he comprehend the fact that Hiei wanted only to spend what time he had left alive protecting the ones he cared for?

'The ones . . . I care for . . .' Hiei thought. Yukina. How long had it been since he ran from Ningenkai? He had no concept of time, but he knew he hadn't been there to check on his sister. He cursed himself. His anger at Kurama and his anger at himself for not being able to hide his wound had been the only things in his thoughts.

Shaking his head, Hiei struggled to his feet. His body was tired and numb from what he imagined was the cold, yet he had not the energy to summon up the ki to warm himself . . . he had not the energy, and he had not the will.

His breathing was labored when he finally managed to stand. Under normal circumstances he would have been angry with himself for having such a hard time when doing the simplest thing, but he couldn't bring himself to care. All he could think about then was Yukina. Was she okay? What if something had happened? He should have been there to look after her.

The next feeling he had was one of abrupt, yet dull pain as he felt something cold slice through his skin. The sensation of blood running down his skin caused him to place a hand at his side. He looked down. Blood welled up and fell along the sides of a deep gash. His hand was stained red as that crimson liquid seeped past his fingers.

Hiei didn't know what to feel. Certainly it had hurt, and yet he couldn't seem to make himself recognize it as being any more painful than a bee sting. Rather than ponder on that he turned his gaze upward and was not exceptionally surprised to see a large, muscular demon stand before him, it's large hands grasping tightly to the hilt of a sword whose blade was stained with blood. He regarded the beast impassively.

The demon made a sound that greatly resembled that of a feline hiss and attacked again. Its sword was held out in front of it, and so Hiei sidestepped the attack easily; however, the sword did not miss completely and managed to cut his arm as the demon went passed him. He glanced at the wound and then at the large, hissing creature that had stopped and was getting ready to attack once more.

The demon charged and Hiei had no particular desire to dodge it. Hiei held no fear of the feel of cold steel sliding through his body. Maybe just to feel again would be refreshing. And then, he did not move. He did not move when the demon's sword caught him just left of his abdomen, nor did he when he felt the blade rip through him and come out of the other side. He only watched as the demon backed off, perhaps expecting him to die, but he would not. He couldn't, for that blade had not made him feel, and he only lived for one purpose. To protect those he cared about. He lived to protect her . . . Yukina, his pure hearted sibling.

With shaking, calloused hands the jaganshi grasped the hilt of the abandoned sword left in his body. He pulled and it slid out. He felt nothing, only saw the unmistakable smearing of blood. He then looked the demon straight in the eyes.

Whatever it was that the demon saw in Hiei's eyes, it frightened him, and he was all too prepared to flee but something held him in place. That something was the glowing jagan. He struggled against its power, but alas, he could do nothing as Hiei approached him, gleaming sword drawn and positioned. The demon was powerless to stop the sword's descent, and the demon was no more as the sword severed his head from his shoulders.

Hiei took heaving breaths as he stared emotionlessly at the corpse and its severed head. How routine it was, how mundane. He didn't feel physical pain, he didn't feel sorrow or regret for what he had just done . . . and he wondered why briefly before returning his attention to his task. Yukina . . . he had to check on her.

He closed his eyes, but the darkness that usually accompanied the action was not present. Instead he saw red. Dark, like blood, but lacking in the overwhelming sense of life that it carried. No, this red was different. It was stark; devoid of light . . . it was simply barren.

Kurama sighed, defeated. He knew well enough that he would be getting no sleep that evening. The color that awaited him every time he closed his eyes was far too haunting for him to endure for very long. It bothered him more to know that the accursed color and its emptiness belonged to Hiei's eyes.

Sighing, Kurama pushed his large comforter off of him and began to sit up. He winced as he climbed to his feet and involuntarily placed a hand at his side, as if his touch could some how chase away the pain. Unfortunately, the pain was somewhat constant. Part of that was due to the fact that he had waited so long to treat the wound that he had received in that earlier battle. He had been so concerned with Hiei's welfare and his own fatigue that he completely forgot about the injury. It was very unlike him to disregard an injury, but then it was also unlike him to lose extensive amounts of sleep over an argument.

He brushed a few red strands of hair behind his ear and padded over to his bedroom door. He opened it and then closed it behind him when he got out into the dark hallway of the second story of his house. He quietly made his way down stairs to the kitchen.

The moonlight shined through the single kitchen window above the sink and those tendrils of silvery light gently caressed the cold, tile floor beneath his bare feet. He shivered involuntarily. As he stood there Kurama soon realized that he was not sure why he had come in the first place, however, his eyes fell on the teakettle, and he shrugged. He imagined he could create a reason anyway.

He reached out to flip the light switch to the 'on' position, but then paused and pulled away. For some reason, he didn't want the artificial light. The moon would certainly do well enough. And so, the kitsune put on a pot of tea with nothing more than the rays of the moon as his company. He then took a seat at the kitchen table and proceeded to prop his elbows on top of it and neatly fold his hands so that he could rest his chin atop them.

He let his eyelids droop half way closed so that if anyone were looking all they would have been able to see were two emerald green slits gleaming in the darkness.

It had been a week: seven days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, and 604,800 seconds . . . since Hiei had so urgently rushed from his bedroom. Kurama still didn't understand why. Hiei's actions had baffled him then, and they baffled him currently, albeit the fire youkai and his actions had ALWAYS been an enigma to him. But perhaps it was that very acute essence of mysteriousness that caused the foxes mind to dwell so constantly upon the other youkai. Usually conundrums that he couldn't quite figure out, such as Hiei, caused him a sufficient amount of irritation, but for some odd reason the jaganshi's riddle seemed palpable. Kurama sighed inwardly and gently shook his head. It was indeed a perplexing paradox.

'A perplexing paradox . . . now that IS interesting. . .' thought the red head somewhat bitter-sweetly.

Suddenly, the shrill, exigent whistle of the teakettle yanked him from his contemplative reverie, and Kurama quickly stood and strode over to remove the kettle from the burner. As it was, that obnoxious noise seemed rather out of place in the room's black silence.

He busied himself pouring the steaming liquid into a cup and then returned back to his seat at the kitchen table. His slender hands, pale and delicate looking in the moonlight, cradled the teacup as gently as if it were a child's innocence. He brought the cup to his lips and sipped languidly at the tea inside of it, savoring the pleasing sensation of the warmth that spread gradually through his tired, battered body. Tense muscles began to relax and heavy eyelids began to droop, but just as hazy unconsciousness began to overwhelm him that startling crimson color appeared, and his eyes shot open. Sighing, he came to the conclusion that his sudden wakening was probably a blessing in disguise, as falling asleep probably would have left him with a most interesting mess to clean up in the morning.

His fingers found their way to his side where they could trace the outline of the bandages that concealed his wound. Suddenly, he remembered that it was rather painful, and he had to wince a little. Tending to it so late had been a difficult process: cleaning off the dried, crusty blood from his sensitive skin (very painful), cleaning the wound, attempting to rid it of the infection that was all ready present. Having to treat it with the common human antibiotics that he had located in the bathroom wasn't helping the situation. He'd have loved to conjure up one of his adoring plants to help ebb the pain and hurry along the recovery process, but he hadn't enough energy left. Anyway, it would take a little longer than usual, but he would still heal quicker than any normal human, and he supposed that was something to be thankful for. Still, dealing with the injury wasn't the end of his problems. He'd had to wash the blood out of his clothing, both his uniform and his pajamas, and then he'd had to sew up the tear in his outfit. Although, he had to admit he had done a rather exceptional job of it this time around. He hoped Shiori wouldn't notice because he had no desire to add another lie to the many others had told her.

Shiori . . . so kind . . . simply a kind, lovely, gracious, warm, and amazing woman. Single handedly she had raised him, and he had not been an easy child to contend with. She alone was able to tame the youko within him . . . alone was able to show him what it was like to love and be loved in return. He knew it must have been a struggle, but she had never shown him that, not even when she had fallen ill. She had been strong for him throughout everything, and he had depended upon her more than he realized. When she met his new stepfather, Kurama had been somewhat indifferent towards the man, but upon seeing his mother so happy he had decided to give him a chance and was pleased with the results.

Emerald eyes drifted toward a picture hanging on the wall. The photograph had been taken quite recently. It was of him, his mother, and stepfather, and his stepbrother. He sighed and averted his eyes from it. His leaving would sadden Shiori, but he felt it was far past time for him to be leaving home and getting an apartment. He'd already told her about his plans, purchased an apartment, and begun to box up his belongings. She always tried to act cheery in regards to the situation, but her eyes always looked a little melancholy.

In any case, having his own place would make situations like the one with Hiei a lot easier.

A sigh escaped his lips, for his thoughts seemed to exist in a massive circle. He was back to thinking about Hiei and the frustrations that accompanied the Jaganshi so frequently. It was all very mind boggling for Kurama. How could something like an argument with his darkly clad partner affect him to such a drastic degree? Naturally, a certain amount of concern intermingled with his current disposition, but he had never experienced such difficulties.

The one burning question that exceeded all others was one that remained a universal problem for everyone: why? Why was he having such strange feelings all of the sudden? His mind traveled over these thoughts with wonted precision, but to no avail, for he was still left with no particular answer. But as he pondered further something occurred to him. His current feelings of confusion were matched only by the ones he had felt many, many years prior, before his human life.

The familiar yet oddly forbidden image of Kuronue flashed in his mind. That pale, slender figure clad in dark garbs and those intense purple eyes . . . Kurama didn't even realize that tears had brimmed at his eyes and slowly begun to cascade over his cheeks until the image had faded away, leaving in its stead a similar image. Only, this image beheld him with eyes of red.

To Be Continued. . .


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:

Obsidian Sphinx: Well, we've been away for a while, so we'd like to refresh everyone's memory with the following statement. We do not own and are not in any way, shape, or form affiliated with Yu Yu Hakusho, either the show or the manga. All rights go to its creator, all of the other people involved who may claim some ownership, and all those legal folks.

Lonely Wanderer: Ch'duh!

Obsidian Sphinx: (Blink) Yeah.

Author's Note:

Obsidian Sphinx: Kay so we've been gone for a little while. ,

Lonely Wanderer: A LITTLE while?

Obsidian Sphinx: Okay, so we've been gone for a long while. ,

Lonely Wanderer: WE?

Obsidian Sphinx: (Glares) Fine, I'VE been gone for a long while. --

Lonely Wanderer: (Nods in satisfaction)

Obsidian Sphinx: (Rolls eyes) Anyway, we . . . er I am sorry for making everyone wait so long. I harbor a bad case of CLS that not even Lonely Wanderer can cure me of! But you guys have been great, and we really appreciate the reviews you've sent in.

Lonley Wanderer: Yeah, so as our gift to all of you for being so loyal and so tolerant (glares at Obsidian), we offer you this new installment! Enjoy!

Obsidian Sphinx: Happy Readings!

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Chapter: 4

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Hiei was vaguely aware of the gnawing pain that inhabited his body as he made his way from the Makai to the Ningenkai. His hands were bloody from the stab wound in his side but, somehow, it didn't seem like that big of a deal. He saw the blood of others all the time . . . why should he react any differently toward seeing his own? The only thing about the wound that seemed to bother him was the simple fact that it made his usually swift pace very sluggish in comparison.

He growled under his breath, a low rumble deep within his chest, and sped up. He hardly flinched when the dried blood, which acted as dam for a further onslaught of blood flow, cracked, and the wound began weeping red tears once more.

oooo

Looking out the window one might smile at the promise of a fair temperature for the day, as the sky was blue and clear, sunlight touched the area with warm, golden fingers, and the neonate leaves and blossoms were just beginning to peer out at the world with an innocence expected in any youth. However, the image from that window would be a deceptive one, for the day was brisk, with air that rose up from the belly of Mother Nature and nipped playfully at her children. It prodded invariably at clothing, trying with devious hands to slowly chill the bones and dissatisfy the mind.

Kurama pulled his jacket tighter around his slender frame and pushed some stray hair securely behind his ear.

As usual, the organization in which he lived his life by showed in his attire and over all physical mien. No one would ever be able to guess that this particular young man had slept for an over all sum of one hour and fifteen minutes the prior night.

Kurama sighed as he felt a familiar wave of drowsiness waft over him. He let out a yawn, cursing the previous evening's brooding activities. He gently wiped the involuntary tears from his eyes, and the thought of a bus seat, no matter how uncomfortable, spurred his all ready swift stride. Perhaps he could take a short power nap on the bus ride to Genkai's.

He had decided as the sun was rising that morning that he should speak with the elderly woman about his seemingly impossible situation regarding a certain darkly clad jaganshi. He had never realized before that night that Hiei and the departed Kuronue had so much in common in physical appearance. Both of them sported pale, smooth skin, and finely sculpted features. Dark clothing and black hair made the unique color of their eyes distinctly vivid, and their dual inclination toward silence was quite surprising as well.

The bus stop seemed to come from out of nowhere, and luck shined on the former demon when the bus pulled up not three minutes after he had taken his seat on the bench. Kurama climbed aboard, paid his fair absently, and took a seat on the sparsely populated bus. He attempted to find a comfortable position so that he might doze for the duration of the forty-five minute bus ride.

And doze he did. He hadn't even stirred when the bus came to a halt at the base of the small mountain where Genkai's home was. A middle-aged woman sitting in front of him had been kind enough to gently shake him from his sleep. When he had come to his senses, Kurama had blushed and thanked her sincerely. She'd smiled and told him that he should get more sleep. Apparently, the dark color under his eyes was noticeable.

As the bus pulled away, Kurama took a deep breath and began to ascend the stone stairs that would eventually lead to the home of his wise friend. Under normal circumstances, the youko, turned human, would have been able to climb the stairs with practiced ease, but his speed seemed to be dramatically decreased due to his fatigue. So his walk was leisurely and paced to the degree that his body would not become any more exhausted than it all ready was.

The trilling song of the birds and the rustling of the leaves were his only companions. The sunshine filtered through the bulk of tree branches that shaded his head and spottily lit his intended path of travel. In Kurama's mind the little sprinkles of light acted as a beacon of hope, a saving grace if he were to think so far. They were gentle stepping stones that would lead him to an elderly savior whose words could perhaps purge his mind of the confusion he was enduring. He didn't want Hiei to flee from his thoughts, far from it, but he wanted the answerless questions and the mind numbing agitation to end. At the rate his abused and sleep deprived body was going he NEEDED it to end.

His infamous lips parted to let out a sigh. He paused in his languid stride and closed his eyes. They stung beneath his lids, but the act was not so much to rest his eyes. Tiredness would not fully affect his inner demon. He let his instincts guide him to the conclusion that there was no negative energy in the area. He could now sit and rest peacefully. Relieved, he plopped down none to gracefully on one of the stone steps and leaned back on his elbows. He opened his eyes and was greeted with the canopy of foliage. It really was beautiful.

The youko inside of him recalled times when he had laid stretched out on the golden meadows of the Makai, basking in the sunshine and admiring that cloudless lavender sky.

Shuichi remembered picnics with his beloved mother. He could see her smiling face and those eyes that had always held so much patience and love for him. It had been a time before complications.

For that moment, his being was once again separated into the kind-hearted human and the infamously aloof youko. Both yearned for simpler times. Shuichi wished to be the carefree young boy he had never been able to be, and youko Kurama wished to be the mischievous, exotic treasure of the Makai as he had once been.

However, one single thought merged the two together once more. Neither of them wished to embrace a time when Hiei wasn't there.

Another sigh was elicited from Kurama's mouth.

'Hiei,' he thought. 'What have you done to me?'

The fox idled on the step for a few moments longer before continuing his somewhat arduous trek up the expanse of stairs. He let his mind wander frivolously in an attempt to avoid thoughts of Hiei. He wanted his mind to be clear when he spoke to Genkai. Still, it seemed utterly impossible for his mind not to brush up against the topic every now and then. Wisely, Kurama would push it to the back of his mind, and with this reoccurring process the top of the stairs came quickly into view.

Fatigue spurred his steps again because once he was safely inside the temple he could surely sit down and rest. Mentally, his youko side berated him for giving into such human weaknesses, but his human side merely ignored the lecture and looked forward to the upcoming sit. It would be very pleasant.

'So there,' scolded Shuichi to youko Kurama.

All went silent in his mind again, much to his relief.

The action of taking that final step seemed to happen in slow motion for the fox, and he sighed in relief when he was finally able to see the quaint temple in all of it's simplistic glory.

As usual, Genkai's residence was peaceful and quiet, save for the wind through the trees, the birds singing, the bugs buzzing, and the water running. It was all very quaint and untouched by the ravenous city below; he rather enjoyed what he saw. Ah, but he was not there for pleasure; he was there to cleanse his mind of the insufferable questions that plagued him.

He began the short walk from the stairs to the temple entrance with no intention of stopping to admire the view, but his ancient love for beauty was nothing to be ignored. He paused briefly under a very old tree to admire the foliage, and it was in that very moment that he felt a strange sort of tingling on the periphery of his senses. Immediately alert, Kurama attempted to place this weak but familiar ki signature. Suddenly, he heard a slight rustling above him, and he turned his face upward just in time for a single drop of bright red blood to splash on the pale skin beneath his right eye. Without looking, he wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand, for he couldn't take his widening eyes away from the sight above him.

"Oh, God . . . Hiei . . ." The phrase was a ghost on Kurama's lips.

His mind was spinning. How did it happen? When? Where had the petite youkai been all that time? Why did he have to turn up in such a state?

It was Shuichi's innocent mind that hindered Kurama from acting immediately. Fortunately, however, the youko quickly came into play. Wide green eyes transformed into wise, serious orbs, and he wasted no further time in utilizing his energy to manipulate the tree branches that supported Hiei's delicate body. The massive branches bent down ward, their leaves nearly dusting the ground, and the jaganshi gently slid from the tree into Kurama's waiting arms. The fox dared not look at the bloody trail left on the tree's bark.

Unconsciously, he hugged Hiei's limp form to his chest, unmindful of the blood that seeped through his jacket. It was yet another article of clothing that would probably have to be thrown away. He'd add it to the growing collection. At the moment, his priority was the very battered Hiei.

Kurama, despite his dear burden, was graceful as he sprinted urgently toward the temple, his heart pounding in his ears. Hiei was so still and cold against his chest that he found himself actually frightened.

'Please, just hang on . . .' he thought.

The shallow clunk of his shoes against the wooden floorboards of the temple invaded his mind as he frantically reached for the light door and slid it open. It was darker inside, the only light being the muted sunshine through the thin paper covering of the door, the sparse candles in the center of a cherry wood table, and the glowing television screen that appeared to be showing the stats from a video game. The idea of such an elderly woman playing a child's game was really very amusing, but now was not the time to dwell on it.

"Genkai!" Kurama shouted. He glanced down at Hiei and took note of how much paler and sallow Hiei's delicate skin looked. "Genkai!" He called once more.

"Bring him in here," came the sudden reply.

The familiar voice was coming from one of the back bedrooms so Kurama quickly navigated his way and found another dimly lit room, though this one was a bedroom. He also found the elderly Genkai kneeling over a futon as her old but strong hands soaked a rag in a bowl of water.

"Hiei's--" Started the fox.

"Yes, I know. I sensed it only a few moments ago. Bring him here and lay him down. We'll do our best to help him until Yukina returns to heal him," she explained.

Kurama put forth no arguments and delivered Hiei to the futon where he and Genkai set about evaluating and cleansing his many wounds. The largest, of course, was the gaping hole in his side. Blood still spilled from it, and it was quite infected, evident by the severe reddening of the tender flesh around it and the mucus like puss that seemed to bubble from the lips of the gash.

"What happened to him?" Genkai posed one of the few questions that Kurama was unable to answer.

The fox only shook his head and leaned back on his heels. "I am uncertain,

Genkai. I found him unconscious in a tree just outside."

Genkai raised a thin eyebrow and continued to dab at a scratch below the jaganshi's hairline. "What would he have been doing here and for how long? I sensed you approaching from a distance but not Hiei's weak ki until only a little while ago," she said.

Tiredly, Kurama shrugged. "It's nearly impossible to tell."

The two fighters tended to their fallen friend a little longer until Yukina happened into the bedroom. Upon seeing Hiei in such a state, the koorime gasped and immediately went to his side.

Kurama watched on in worried exhaustion as Yukina began the healing process. It really was amazing to see scratches erased from skin like the chalk on a blackboard and to observe the edges of that appalling stab wound melt together into a smooth, textured scar.

When Yukina had finished, she let her hands fall into her lap and briefly closed her lovely eyes. She took a few deep breaths and proceeded to smile weakly.

"He'll be alright now," she said in a small voice.

"You, on the other hand, need to rest, Yukina," said Genkai from her shadowed corner of the room.

The koorime girl looked back lovingly at the elderly woman and nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose you're right, but . . ." Yukina looked down to Hiei then and placed a cool, gentle hand to his forehead. "I would much prefer that someone stay at his side."

Kurama watched the action with satisfaction. Yukina did not know for certain of her relationship with Hiei, but it hardly mattered because in her mind she had already adopted him as her brother.

"Please, Yukina, rest. I'll watch over Hiei," he offered.

"Thank you, Kurama," replied Yukina. She bowed shallowly and proceeded to leave the room, giving one last fond glance at the very still jaganshi.

Once she was gone, the room was filled with a rather omnipotent silence, so much in fact that it seemed to be empty. In reality, however, there were three beings inside: one fallen, one dubious, and one wise.

Genkai stood up slowly, grunting slightly as she stood. Kurama's green eyes followed her movements. The tutor caught his observant gaze and scowled.

"I'm old," she said quietly. "I've been old for a very long time now. I've seen many things, learned a lot, taught many students, and enjoyed my life. I died once and then I lived again, Kurama. My mind and my tongue are as sharp as ever, but my body has been slowing down. For example, my eyesight isn't as keen as it used to be, but I don't need excellent vision to see that you're more a part of this than you're telling me . . . perhaps even more a part of it than even you know."

The kitsune looked stunned for a moment and was unable to respond. What could he say to those accusing words?

"I--"

Genkai merely turned her back to him and started out of the room. "You stay with him as you told Yukina you would. We will talk later."

"Thank you," murmured Kurama as he watched her leave.

Silence seeped back into the room, and he remembered his tiredness. His limbs were heavy, his eyelids were droopy, and an awkward nauseating sensation had settled in his stomach.

His sleepy gaze then beheld Hiei, and his heart lurched in his chest. This was not the state of one such as Hiei, cold, still, and pained. Suddenly, an idea dawned on him.

"Pain, Hiei. That's it, isn't it? You're . . . in pain, but it's different than any you've ever felt . . . somehow." Kurama whispered. He felt he had to because it seemed like he had stumbled upon some revolutionary secret.

As this new thought nibbled at his mind, Kurama lay down on the wooden floor next to his dark friend, sharing his precious body heat.

"It hurts very much, doesn't it?" He asked quietly. "If only you would trust me, dear friend, I would share it with you."

A wave of drowsiness covered Kurama and, against his will, he fell victim to sleep.

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(tbc . . . we promise!)


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